Year One: A Letter to My Daughter

Dear Olivia,

It’s hard to believe that one year ago today you made your first appearance to the world. The minute your beautiful blue eyes met mine I felt as though I was meant to be your mommy. Your face, your sounds and the way you felt in my arms seemed familiar, seemed natural. While your birth was easy in comparison to the horror stories other mothers face, your first few months of life outside the womb were not without challenges. Reflux had us on pins and needles with every feeding. Sleep was (and still is) a battle of willpower between your need for rest and your curiosity of what is going on around you.

Your third month of life brought on a big transition for us, daytime separation. My return to work left a heaviness in my heart which I’m sure will never completely lighten. I found some consolation in the relative ease of which you settled into the new routine of drop-offs and pick-ups and the unique bonds you have formed with your other caregivers.

As month after month passes you achieve new milestones in your development. You are now crawling, waving, forming words, pulling yourself up to standing position, cruising around furniture and attempting to take your first steps (with a little support of a pair of helping hands). Your personality is also in bloom. You’re determined.  Focused on what you want. Fiercely independent when it suits you, yet affectionate and attached to the ones you love.

Your first year has been a whirlwind. Filled with many laughs, tears, late nights and early mornings, tender moments, lessons learned and most importantly love, realized.

I look forward to watching you continue to grow and learn. And I will do my best to  give you the tools and foundation to be the kind of person who pays it forward. Who enjoys life. Who takes others into consideration before making a decision. Who has the ability to choose great friends and the fortitude to walk away from those who aren’t. Who forgives. Who recognizes her mistakes and is willing to apologize. Who stands up for herself. Who finds the bright side in any situation. Who is kind and appreciative. Who has conviction. And who continues to love.

As we grow together, and I pray never apart, know that you are my greatest accomplish. I will always be there for you.

I will always love you.

Mama

Autocomplete, For Lovers

JITFVD! (aka: Just in time for Valentines Day)

If you just can’t find the right words to express your love, Google can help.

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Resolutions of a First Time Mom

“Good resolutions are like babies crying in church. They should be carried out immediately.”  – Charles Monroe Sheldon

2010 has been a year of great change in my life. I’ve been physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually transformed by becoming a mother. It has been such a  joy watching my baby bean grow and become her own little person. I’m truly looking forward to the many other “firsts” that are awaiting for her in 2011.

I’m also looking forward to making some changes in myself in the new year. For the past 9 months I have focused so much of my time and attention on ensuring monkey’s comfort and happiness that I’ve abandoned other things in my life which at one time were important to me. In 2011, I’m striving for more balance.

So here we go, my 2011 resolutions for a more harmonious life…

Make the hubs more of a priority. Whew. It has been a rocky road for us since monkey’s birth. There has been moments when I was unsure if we were going to make it as a couple. After some soul searching and late night heart to hearts we have agreed that we are better together than apart. I’m vowing to be kinder to the man who gave himself to me. To be more supportive in his role as a father and a husband. To be a better wife.

Learn to let go. Having a type-A personality can be a blessing and a curse. Being a perfectionist has helped me do well in my career. However, it also causes me to become needlessly upset over trivial day to day occurrences. In 2011, I’m hoping to accept that it is really okay that the house gets a bit disastrous at times. It’s okay if monkey goes 3 days without a bath on occasion. It’s okay if I go to work with unruly hair. No one is perfect. In fact, perfection is boring. I need to embrace imperfections. They are what makes us human.

Make more time for myself. I struggle with the guilt that comes with being a working mom. Which is probably why my focus zeros in on the baby, and only the baby, during my non-work hours. Since her birth, I’ve left her to go out with friends or the husband a total of 4 times. And I struggled with each outing. As for “alone time”, unless you count trips to Target during my lunch break, is non existent. Prior to becoming pregnant I took better care of myself. I worked out 5 days a week, I ate fruits and vegetables, I got haircuts/colors more than once every 9 months. I’m slightly worried that if I don’t get over the debilitating  self-reproach of not being there for monkey 24/7 that it will consume me forever. I need to make more time for myself, I’m pretty sure it will make me a better mother, wife, daughter and sister.

Good luck to all resolution-makers of the world. Here’s to new beginnings and another chance of getting it right (or some version of it).

The Horrors of Minivans and Children’s Tolerance Levels for Dorkiness

I truly believe that this child is made of parental nightmares.

Every time I see this smug little bastard’s face appear on my television I pray that his display of snobbery is not actually contributing to the sale of Toyota Highlanders. Please tell me no one is falling for his tagline, “Just because you’re a parent doesn’t mean you have to be lame.” Who do you think you’re talking to, kid?! And, p.s., why are you wearing your sister’s jeans?

This commercial is wrong on many levels, but what bothers me the most about it is the seed left in the minds of moms and dads that if they aren’t buying the next, biggest, brightest and better “thing”, then they are a loser parent. And people wonder where kids get such a sense of self entitlement…

As a parent, and a marketer, I am insulted.

<<End rant.>>

9 Months Old

75% done with her first year of life. 100% ready to devour Christmas wrapping paper.

Holiday Zombieland

I’m not sure what happens to seemingly sane people after Halloween, but I suspect something evil takes over shows no discrimination toward suburbanites and city dwellers as it morphs us into holiday zombies. Perhaps it’s the combination of colder weather, Christmas lights, and retail bargains that lead people to misinterpret the season of goodwill and cheer, for a season of disgruntled interactions with fellow holiday zombies.

And if there was ever a place where this truth can be realized, it is the mall.

I’ve had a couple run-ins while attempting to check a few things off my “to-buy” list which have transformed my disposition towards shopping.

This is me shopping prior to Halloween:

And this is me after:

I try to keep in mind and spirit what this time of year is all about, but being monkey’s first Christmas, I’ve jumped on the crazy train to overspending and commercialism that Charlie Brown warns us against. It’s hard not to. But what I’m hoping to avoid is the wrath that can occur when everyday irritants collide with unrealistic expectations for the holidays. Things like: sinks filled with dirty dishes and the absence of helping hands; an extreme emphasis on equal time spent with both sides of the family; and scrooges (or people who’s sulky demeanor seems to be exacerbated by the holidays); clash with the vision of the perfect family – sitting in front of an open fire – while snowflakes fall gently outside. Such things are a recipe for total mental breakdown. And who wants to wallow in self inflicted despair during a joyous time of year?

So I’m attempting to keep things in perspective because I do have so much to be thankful for. Especially this year. The most important things in my life:

- My beautiful baby girl. As she maneuvers through the discoveries of self sufficiency, trust and communication, she’s teaching me what loving unconditionally really means. I’m so grateful that she is healthy and happy and that I have the opportunity to guide her as she grows and feel her love in return.

- My parents. Their patience, support and understanding continues to demonstrate what the word “family” really means.

- The hubs. I’ve been tough on him since monkey’s birth. He’s had moments of abandonment and misdirected anger and frustration directed towards him. I’m grateful for his acceptance of this “new” version of me…the mommy-me.

I’m also very thankful for a few non-human items that I’m not quite sure what I would do without. Such as:

- Baby wipes. Why I did not start purchasing these multi-use, multi-ply, miracle workers-in-a-box prior to having a child, I do not know.

- Dr. Brown bottles. Monkey was a reflux baby and these little wonders saved me from tarping my entire house in plastic wrap and newspaper.

- The Internet. It is my entertainment, my sounding board, the perfect outlet for procrastination and probably my favorite communication vehicle. Dear Internet, I heart you.

Happy Thanksgiving!

The Next Generation of Googlers

She got it from her mama.